Last week I wrote about the struggle with getting the kids to do chores around the house and/or helping us out ocassionally.
The other facet of this is quite an interesting one! I’ve noticed that when kids are indeed willing to do something or sometimes even excited to do a certain thing at home… we parents play spoilsport. We start giving them n number of instructions and eventually manage to quell their enthusiasm for any regular chore or excitement for a new one too.
Most often we do not catch ourselves doing this. We wonder why the child wont do the task anymore or is not as excited anymore. And, we attribute this to the novelty wearing off or some such thing. Never once does it occurs to us that we are the cause for such behaviour 😐
In our enthu to teach children the right way to do things and/or with a sense of duty we try to impart our precious insights (accumulated over many years) to them. Isnt it? And, we also expect them to grasp it all and function accordingly. How fair is that!
At another end of the spectrum, we sometimes do not allow the children to do certain chores coz we do not want to deal with side effects. Children, while they are learning will do mistakes and most likely create extra work for us, which sure is a burden at times. However, asking the child to not do it will only help us in the short run, but will take away their opportunity to learn!
When we entrust a child with something, we need to really trust that the work will be done in the best possible way. We need to let go of the expectation that the child should do it just the way we did it. We need to let go of the assumption that we know better and that ours is the perfect way to do a certain thing.
Last but not the least – A minimum of instructions should suffice. This is very crucial. I’ve noticed many times that this is the single most factor that impacts a child’s enthusiam for doing anything.
The realization has come in.. but I’m sure it’ll be quite sometime before I really let go! and trust that my kids will do a good job of anything they’re entrusted with.
P.S: this post of mine related to kids and parenting was in the works when I read Swaram’s post which is so much on the same lines. I was amazed to read the same perspective in an entirely different context and rediscover that trust indeed is at the center of it all!