The Parenting Jig #MondayMusings

I have often wondered how to go about the task of instilling these in the kids – the habit of doing chores, the feeling of ownership… of taking care of their own stuff and of the stuff and/or valuables at home. But have not come up with any sure shot solution!

Pampered as they are, they argue about who should do what, compare with tasks that we adults do or even refuse outright to do any or some of the things that they are told to do and that leaves us frustrated and questioning ourselves as to what is it that we are doing or not doing well! 😐

I am unable to recall if my parents ever tempted us with gifts/rewards for doing something or threatened me or my sisters with any punishment for not doing things. But I know that we simply did what we were told to do and mostly made a habit of it without being asked every time to do a certain thing. At least thats what I think we did, if memory serves me right. We did refuse to doing something some of the times but I dont recall having to be told everytime to do our routine assigned tasks.

How did they manage it all !! Were our parents better at it? And we dont have those skills? Or, were we better children, tuned into our circumstances and the needs of everyone around us? And our children more self centred, to the extent of being indifferent to the needs of others around them ? Or are we to blame for trying to be ‘friendly’ parents? I also wonder if I am unnecessarily getting bogged down with all these thoughts ?

Deep in my heart I know that they’ll turn out fine and that they’ll will do the things that they need to do in order to survive and to get by in the larger scheme of things. But there is this lil desire that they start being disciplined and most importantly polite, in all that they do coz these are some of the most important attributes ..aren’t they??

Am I overthinking it or am I asking for too much? Do any of you struggle with this as well? Grateful for any tips to get better at this or to atleast get a better perspective on this one 🙂

P.S: Reviewing it, I do feel that it sounds much worse than it actually is.. but thats just me being contemplative on some days…

 

 

5 thoughts on “The Parenting Jig #MondayMusings

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  1. Your PS. 🙂 On so many days, we get into this hyper-reflective mode, making us feel things are bad.
    Hope you figure out the answer to your thoughts, as well as the ways to accomplish what you really need to do. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You know what I think – its us who spoil them. Once we give the work to them, dont go behind and see. If they take time let them. If it takes a week and the clothes are not put for wash, let it be. They will finally learn to do it. If we see the dumped clothes and do it, the purpose is not solved. Its tough – we need to keep the house clean and make them to do also. Its also because sometimes I feel I was scared of my mom as a kid and even now I keep clothes inside thinking what will amma say! We are not that strict. We want to be friendly yet we want them to do…its a long project!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. True.. there was some amount of fear factor and the thought of getting scolded made us do our chores in a timely manner. These days scoldings are counter productive 😐 Like you say patiently waiting for things to get done is a way forward.. hopefully they will understand that ultimately its they who need to do it. Thanks Uma 🙂

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