Acceptance and Mindfulness – 2 words , 2 recurring themes that have come up in my readings and writings in the past few years. And then came the theme of Compassion, Kindness. Whatever little I read, blog posts and articles, seemed to point me in the direction of Kindness. Kindness in thoughts, and more importantly, kindness in actions.
To be cognizant of what the other person is/might be going through and to not give into ones own impulses of judgements and reactions. To respond to any person and/or situation with kindness. To try to bring out every action from a place of kindness and compassion rather than right vs wrong or a holier than thou attitude.
Sounds like a tough target to achieve right? But achieveable it is.. maybe gradually, over a period of time. Hoping it will become a way of life ..slowly but surely. Yes, looks quite doable when combined with mindfulness and acceptance.
In the last couple of years, I’ve had to go through strange health issues, stuff that remained unresolved /undiagnosed fully, from a medical standpoint. This year (2018) especially , it took a heavy toll affecting my normal day-to-day activities and making me feel helpless and incapacitated. It took all my mental energy to avoid getting worked up. But, there were days when I felt great frustration … so much so that I would almost be in tears and begging to be freed from the agony. Thankfully, I’ve been able to recover from the symptoms and get on with my regular life again.
The whole experience forced me to go back to the basics – do only as much as you can.. be kind to yourself..this is only a phase and nothing lasts forever. These were the mantras that eventually helped me survive the difficult phase. Made me realise that being kind with oneself was of utmost importance. And, that magically helped me focus on ways to be kind to the people around me.
You know how old people are twice children. But they are old people too. Easily frustrated about worldly stuff, things that they find difficult to comprehend or navigate and then, about their own selves too. My feebleness made me look at things from their perspective. Made me wonder if some of their frustration might stem from their inability to be as agile as they were earlier.
Again, this understanding helps to bring poise in my responses. Where I earlier snapped with impatience, I now try to hold back and give it a moment before responding.
Daughter, a teen now, has her share of drama.. literally. High school stuff, and biological changes leading to the many many ways in which these are manifested. And, once again it is kindness that helps me navigate the turbulent waters that is adolescence!!
Sisters have also been having a tough/taxing time in their lives, especially at work. And me being the eldest one, there is this great tendency to get onto my high horse and give gyan on choices to make and ways to deal with the various stuff going on. But every now and then I do realize that its all quite pointless and that I just need to give them the space to do what feels right to them and to just let them be! So, trying to infuse kindness in there too.. in my discourses , and in general trying to be mindful and accepting of their ways and their choices.
Trying to be kind to myself and to the people around me.. thats the gist. And, ‘trying’ is the key here 🙂 I’m not able to achieve all of this all of the time. It definitely is going to be a life long endeavour.. this journey of mindfulness, acceptance and kindness. Whatever happens happens for the best.. goes the saying. I dont know if thats true. But I do try and look at the good side mostly. Grateful and praying.