This year was one of tremendous changes .. of being thrown.. or rather, of being flung out of my comfort zones in more ways than one..
The first half was filled with certain anxieties and a feeling of a need for change that was very compelling!! I had made peace with the anxieties and come to terms with what is. But then life is so full of surprises!! In a completely unexpected move I changed job and was put right in the midst of people/situation that were a cause of my anxieties earlier in the year. Of course it was my decision to go for it knowing the risk. But I wanted to get out of my existing one so badly that the risk didnt seem huge. Thankfully, the risk I took has paid off. I am glad I have been able to handle myself and the situations quite nicely and in fact things seem to have changed for the better. So thats one part of it.
On the other, I was put into a completely unfamiliar job role. The people in charge know me and felt that I was the best person for the job and thats how I got the offer. To be frank I was not half as sure about how I would fare! To say that I was scared would be an understatement. I was petrified to the core!! The actual job role was totally new and so were other associated tasks like interviewing, etc. I had no clue initially on how to go about it!!
Then again, I’m glad about this change too 🙂 I’ve done quite well and have been able to hold things together and deliver! In fact, I have now become kind of comfortable with my work. But the real challenge now is in training someone else to take this up so that my load on that front becomes lighter. I am in the process but how quickly I’ll be able to do it is something I’ll have to wait n see.
For a few days now, I’ve had some ideas that I want to implement, at work. They are not all work related. And, i’m not quite sure about how to go about it. Maybe its just fear again, of going into uncharted territory. Maybe I should just take the plunge and see how things pan out…
Other things have changed too.. apart from work. The friends that I had made on my bus commute have also moved away. As in, they no longer take the bus for various reasons. But I’m glad that we are in touch and are eager and make time to meet up once in a while, by taking the bus!! As I look back, I realize how strange these friendships have been and also how timely and reassuring for all of us, for we have shared so much in this brief time that it sometimes feels not real at all! I’m sure this makes sense to most blogging friends who’ve found such meaningful friendships esp through blogging!!
New workplace has meant new friends and also of course there are a few old ones who have become more closer! Personally, I’ve become more calmer and accepting of things , situations and people. I have worked more towards letting people be.. especially towards the end of this year. I hope to continue this. It helps to be at peace with what is and not trying to control/change to what I think is right. But of course I struggle with this part when it comes to the kids. There, it seems like my duty to make them see what is right from wrong and to make them accept my view of certain things or ways!! Come to think of it, parenting has been tougher than my job change and all the other changes that have happened!!
In the midst of all this, I am glad I continued going to the dance class and did not give up on that. Though of course, quite a lot has changed there too. Few people who were there earlier and who were the seniors have left.. due to marriage, baby, health problems and so on. Just 4 of us, among the older students, who are regulars now.. though we too have been missing classes of late. Also, i’m not doing regular dance practice or even exercising like before, due to lack of energy and enthusiasm rather than lack of time 😦 . Last year in Dec, we had our annual day. This year annual day did not happen.. ma’am is planning for one in March. We need to gear up for that if we have to give a good performance.
The thing that I gave up on this year is car driving. I totally stopped driving since almost 4 months now. We tried contacting few people who could help me with the training but nothing worked out in my favour. And, I kinda gave up. More than the other reasons, I feel my own inhibitions and fears are keeping me from accomplishing this. But, seeing couple of my colleagues start driving to work, I’m feeling quite inspired! And ready to take this up as a challenge..
The only thing that has not changed is the family! Their love and care and support is what makes most everything possible for me!! If anything, mutual love, care and respect has grown over time and this precious bond is the thing that sustains all of us through thick and thin. A most precious and priceless gift that I cherish!
All in all lifes been good in 2013. Feel grateful and blessed and thankful for everything. For the coming year.. no resolutions as such, no concrete plans for anything. Reiterating the mantra of mindfulness and acceptance! Hoping these will guide me towards growth, and esp in my toughest role yet.. parenting!! 🙂
Wishing you all a fabulous 2014 that is awesome in every way!!