I attended a workshop on Parenting skills at my daughter’s school recently..here are notes for myself and for anyone who drops by and is interested!
I put it down quickly in points..not wanting it to evaporate amidst all the other tasks that need to get done…
The Context – parenting in the current scenario of changed family structures is more challenging than parenting in yester years…the role and involvement of parents has increased many fold and often a parent has to play multiple roles in order to provide a well balanced environment for the growing child.
- EQ ‘Emotional Quotient’ is the most important factor in a persons life,it is EQ and not IQ that determines ones ability to succeed; to be happy and content.Towards improving the EQ, teach children to recognize and be aware of their emotions…only when they are aware of emotions will they be able to have empathy ..with themselves and with others. This goes a long way in preparing them for the ‘Real’ world and determines how they cope with it
- Be consistent in what you say and what you do – changing your stance every other day confuses the child, inconsistency between spouses, between parents and grandparents need to be resolved [though not in his/her presence], so that a finite set of rules or conditions are to be followed
- Be a role model – children are completely aware of their surroundings.They may not listen to your words but they sure listen to your body language. And beware ‘children do not do what you SAY…they do what you DO’
- Keep your word, if it is not not possible then do not make promises in the first place
- Make children understand the value of things they have access to; never give into their whims and fancies just to save face
- Don’t be guilty if you are not able to a spend lot of time with them and never splurge on them out of a guilty consciousness, but make sure you spend QUALITY time with them whenever it is possible
- Negatives put them off…DON’T, NO, NOT THAT, etc are words that parents use without discretion, in an effort to teach children the right things..Whenever possible try to use positives, or else, after the negative…explain why…in words or figuratively…why not to do a certain thing….even a small baby can comprehend expressions..if not words
All these look difficult and unachievable at first sight. But when approached objectively and with a little effort and practice, life with kids can become much more exciting and fruitful.